I want to firstly apologize for the delay in this post. I have truly failed my readers and audience and for that I am sorry. Self-reflection is one of the hardest things to face, at least for me it is. It is so easy to sweep our issues under a rug and not deal with them head-on. I understand the fear of addressing problems with others let alone ourself. I am here; flawed, vulnerable and willing to put myself out there if it will benefit someone else. I have been so emotional these last few days, even at this time of me writing this, I have tears in my eyes. I didn’t understand why I started feeling these emotions and then it clicked. I am in the mist of a break through. You see I have been the strong friend forever. I have been a human diary, therapist and problem solver for many. Of course I love being able to be there for the people I love and never want anyone to suffer in silence and not come to me when they need support. However, I’ve neglected my own mental health. I had some people drain me constantly with their problems and never once ask, “how are you?” See the thing is we ALL go through things. We aren’t the only ones with problems and we have to understand that. I have also been guilty of judging others decisions when I have no right. When building relationships, whether personal or professional you have to be prepared to do the work. Never go in expecting more than you are willing to give, NEVER.
I am just realizing I have cut myself short by hiding from my true self. I have allowed myself to be influenced to do things that I have no mental capacity for. I’ve strayed away from things I truly love, thinking, “what would others think?” Do you know how long ago I wanted to start this blog? Almost 6 years ago. I started my “thecookediaries” instagram page in October 2014 with every intention of turning it into a blog. I kept telling myself I would do it next month or next year and found every reason not to. I now see I cared too much about what others thought, but why? I finally got the courage to start but I still held back. I just didn’t understand why I was limiting myself. I love home decor, making recipes, traveling, celebrating and decorating for occasions and DIY projects. So, why wasn’t I sharing more of that? Why am I keeping myself in a box? Greg and I have been transforming our home for 3 years and I absolutely love our home projects but I rarely share them. I love cooking and baking but you wouldn’t know that. I felt myself straying away from the initial reason I wanted to start this blog to begin with. I want to share content that inspires, motivates and encourages others. I am now realizing that I cannot jump on every paid brand deal if it doesn’t resonate with my brand. And yes that part, I am a BRAND. I also neglected treating myself as such but that stops now.
I have started only sharing things and wins in my life with those who are truly interested in my journey. I stopped having expectations for others. Why should we get to chose who should be happy for us and who should support us? We shouldn’t. So instead of dwelling on the expectations of others we should start focusing on the people who are routing for us. In turn we should do the same for them. I have met so many women through blogging in just this short time and I am forever grateful for these relationships and support. I was so focused on friends and family support and who did or didn’t engage with my post that I neglected to see how blessed I truly am. I am now totally in tune with the support I continuously receive from others. Thank you it means more than I could ever put into words.
This journey has not been easy. I have fell short, burnt myself out, strayed away from my purpose and neglected my mental health. But guys, I am making my way! I have some new loves; classical music, eating healthier and plants. I had no idea how much these things could help my mental. I am discovering I am not limited to the box I once put myself in. I am not afraid of how people will perceive me. There will always be an audience that resonates with you and you will be much happier sticking with things you actually love. I no longer feel the need to be included in everything and truly being okay with it. I am no longer intimidated by other people’s opinion or thoughts. I am not concerned with anyone’s doubt or assumptions. I am honestly just working full-time on being the best Chelle B I could possibly be so I can properly serve you guys. I hope you take what I wrote and push yourself to find your TRUE SELF. It’s not an overnight thing and it will be a journey. When you find your true self make sure to cater to that person. I am so excited about my Re-brand and taking you guys along on the journey!